It’s All Crazy! It’s All False! It’s All a Dream! It’s Alright: There’s Bacon. (2/2)

My friends, I give you the most amazing Thanksgiving food, ever. Bacon-wrapped turkey.


This shows one of the main ideas I have about food: It can always be improved. Yes, the turkey there probably would have been cooked deliciously, and it would have been a nice turkey. But, when adding the bacon, the turkey is enhanced by at least ten fold, creating a contraption of delicious wonderment.

Yes, I understand that bacon isn’t the best food for you, and that is what helps enhance the food. If bacon was good for you, that would take all of the fun out of eating it. Most people tend to avoid eating food items that are horrible for their bodies. Bacon’s greasy, chewy (preferably) tastes are not exempt from this. So, in my mind at least, when I eat bacon, I feel like it tastes that much better, as it is a rarity, a delicacy in my household.

Food should be eaten. That is simple enough, isn’t it? Whether that food is a mushroom ravioli or a recipe that uses fruit bat as a centerpiece, it should be eaten. It is a social event, to have a barbecue and hang out with friends and neighbors, or to go out for dinner and a movie. Food brings us together, but it also keeps us apart. I, personally, do not like most pizza. It’s the tomato sauce, I just do not enjoy tomato based items. I love a good seafood linguine, with sun dried tomatoes, scallops, shrimp, and clams, but if it was all in a tomato sauce? Nope. Too much tomato for me. Anyway, I’m rambling. I’ve been to many places where all that is served is pizza,  not even a delicious white pizza, and I’m left standing awkwardly saying, “No, I don’t like pizza… Not all pizza, no, it’s just the sauce.” It pushes me out of the group. I guess there is a downside to everything. But who cares? Food is delicious. Mostly.

I’m a Mainer, born and (mostly) raised, so I’ve had some interesting food. The two most interesting were foods that I thought I’d never enjoy. The first, of course, is Moxie. This carbonated drink is the Maine state drink, and it is filled with deliciousness. The first time I took a sip, I thought to myself, “Hmmm, not bad.” Then the aftertaste hit. Burning like mouthwash, and tasting like mouthwash and dirt. After a few drinks, one gets used to it, and is left with the good ol’ cola, and a story for conversation.

The second food I thought I’d never enjoy is poutine. This French-Canadian concoction was introduced to me through my brother, as he talked about eating it at Dysart’s, a truck stop and restaurant in my home town. Take french fries, a much loved food, and throw some shredded cheese on top. “Cheesy fries?” you ask, “those are pretty common.” I know they are, but once you add a generous helping of gravy, that’s when you get to the interesting. The food tastes like a mix of soft and crunchy, melty, and creamy -from the gravy. When I first had some, I fell in love. It is an artery clogger, but a delicious treat. It looks like a food to never be eaten, and yet it is one of my favorites.

Food is weird. Ridiculously weird, but always amazing. That is my philosophy.

Signing off to eat some bacon.


Here’s some bacon soap… Smell like grease and fat?


About Hulking Manatee

I'm an MSSMer, so... I'm insane. Yes, absolutely insane. Bonkers, even.
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6 Responses to It’s All Crazy! It’s All False! It’s All a Dream! It’s Alright: There’s Bacon. (2/2)

  1. maoismdoesntwork says:

    I adore roasting birds with bacon. To me there’s something impossibly extravagant about a meal involving two different types of meat. But after nearly seven years in Maine, I’ve never had this “Moxie”. Please could you explain what it consists of?

  2. Hulking Manatee says:

    Ah, well, Moxie is a soda that contains the extracts of gentian root. It has quite a unique taste, more bitter than sweet, and it contains a kick in the light aftertaste, well, light for regular drinkers.

  3. bethanyhartley says:

    You talked about bacon and poutine so much, I can’t help but wonder how delicious it would be to add bacon to the poutine. I believe it would be probably the best thing since the invention of bacon.

  4. Mr. Sturdy Knight says:

    Great post Logan. I admire your uninhibited approach to food. I think we need a little more conscious sense of decadence in our food culture today.

  5. Pingback: Bury Your Flame (2/2) | Food Studies, Spring 2011

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